Have you ever received constructive criticism? I’m sure we all have. If there was something you weren’t doing correctly, you may have received constructive criticism. If you are like me, constructive criticism feels like a shot against you.
Constructive criticism is a recommended set of instructions that aims to collaboratively improve the overall quality of a product or service. These instructions can also be applied to improve you as an individual. It is meant to be a good thing to help an individual, or even a business, improve in what they do.
So why is it that people take it so harshly? Perhaps it hurts because it means admitting there is a flaw you didn’t want to acknowledge.
The reason I know this is because I’m one of those people to take constructive criticism so personally. The first time I received constructive criticism It hurt me. I started to cry and didn’t understand why it felt so bad. It wasn’t until a much later time in my life, that I understood that I was taking it personally. However, I simply upgraded the tears to anger for the constructive criticism I received.
Now let’s ask ourselves, how do we start taking constructive criticism in the way it was meant to be?
Well for starters, you may have to step away from the person giving it and simply say you need to process what was said. Giving yourself space will be good for you -and them- as you need time in the beginning to truly process this constructive criticism in the way it needs to be received.
Second, you need to put yourself into a mental state where you start to honestly cross reference those words with your behavior. It helps to close your eyes as they talk. Start to see any instances where you have committed that behavior. If you see any instances of that behavior it should make it easier to accept what they said.
Lastly, check the state of that person. Check to see whether or not this person is intentionally trying to hurt you. If not, the person may genuinely want the best for you. Once you do this, if that person only wants what’s best for you, then it becomes easier to accept what they say as constructive criticism.
Although I’ve told you these things in this blog, don’t expect this to fix how you receive constructive criticism immediately. It takes time since your mind is programmed to think one way and now you are training it to think in a different manner.
As always, reach out to me if you have any questions. or comments. I’m out!