What is an expectation?
The definition is “a belief that someone will or should achieve something.”
In other words, we are believing that a person will achieve something or do something, usually being something we want. Expectations are tied to our desires or experiences. If we experienced something we usually want it the same way again or know it will be the same way. For example if you go to McDonald’s and you have a wonderful service, you expect the same service at every McDonald’s. Now if you had terrible service at every McDonald’s, the next trip to McDonald’s you expect it to be terrible.
The same goes with our expectations of people. What’s different about people and restaurants? Well every person is unique and different, unlike restaurants that are very similar or almost identical. The uniqueness of people poses so many factors that can leave those with expectations feeling upset or unsatisfied. Not only are we all different and unique but how we were taught or what we have experienced is also different. Some people had a dad while others didn’t. Maybe some of us were taught how to value money, or manage time wisely, or how to take care of their credit.
All these things have made up to our experiences. Because we experienced something a certain way, we will usually expect those things from people around us. However we haven’t taken into account that people experience life differently. We become upset with each other because of our expectations, even though we have no idea of how to live up to them. Many times people simply may not know that you have an expectation of them.
How can you avoid doing this?
It’s a simple two step process. However, remember this is only for expectations that are healthy. Something unhealthy shouldn’t be tolerated and should be resolved through communication. Otherwise, you need to first realize why do you have an expectation for this person. Second, open your mouth and tell them what you are expecting. Thirdly, what happens next should be a compromise. You should meet somewhere in the middle and accept that the other person won’t be able to fully give you what you expect of them. Realize that as long they try to strive to do their best towards you, let that satisfy your expectation.